Quantification

We are so data centric that I saw the following slide today:

Is it possible to quantify Love?

Instead of talking about it, I'll leave it open ended for you to comment.

:)

Wacky tax deductions..

Check out some wacky tax deductions people have tried..
http://biz.yahoo.com/brn/090325/27701.html?.v=1?&.pf=taxes

You'll have a good laugh.. :)

Penny: I always say that when one door closes, another one opens.

Sheldon: No it doesn't. Not unless the two doors are connected by relays or there are motion sensors involved. Or if the first door closing creates a change of air pressure that acts upon the second door.

Penny: (gives Sheldon a long look) Never mind.

Privacy..

I happen to read somewhere

"If you don't want people to know about it, don't do it.."

Now that might totally be true, but isn't that taking things to the extreme? It's like people preaching abstinence as the way of life. They forget that one can also play safe here; just need to set the privacy filters right in your life..

Our privacy guru, Mr. Vas, might have different thoughts though, especially when it comes from the guy with who cares attitude! :)

"Phase" You!

We have been working on different phases of a system and like for all good stuff, time is short. It is indeed stressful at times. Some of them, in order to destress, started using "phase" as the swear word: "phase" you, "phase" off, what the "phase"?, this is "phasing" insane, etc. etc.. and aha! people unite, having fun and still getting things done.

Not that I am promoting swearing here.. But just to take it in a broader sense: why not just "phase" (read 'face') things in a cheerful way even if it "phases" you?

:)

Experiences..

And experiences, that have aged us, if not our bodies, our minds, faster...

and what did those experiences do to us? Am I smarter? have I matured? am I more rational? am I more responsible? do I make more informed decisions? am I not crazy anymore? the questions persist..

People want to touch your life. They are well wishers and only want the very best from you. They want to know you. and when they want to touch that inner shell in which you're enclosed, all you can manage is a smile..

coz you know there are no grudges against anyone.. no complaints.. no questions of why me and not someone else.. no competition.. no thoughts as to how you got here.. just a battle against yourself! coz you know someone's dreams are not just theirs anymore.. there is a bigger void to fill.

You just persist.. without any hope or expectation!
and life is still beautiful... :)

"Kyun Is Kadar Hairaan Tu
Mausam Ka Hai Mehmaan Tu
O, Duniya Sajee Tere Liye
Khud Ko Zara Pehchaan Tu

Tu Dhoop Hain Jham Se Bikhar
Tu Hai Nadee O Bekhabar
Beh Chal Kahin Ud Chal Kahin
Dil Khush Jahan Teri Toh Manzil Hai Wahin"

If I were to write a book

Sunlight opened up my eyes
to see for the first time
it opened them up

And tonight rivers will run dry
and not for the first time
rivers will run

Hundreds of years in the future
there could be computers
looking for life on earth

Don't fight for the wrong side
say what you feel like
say how you feel

You'll go backwards
but then
you'll go forwards
again

If I were to write a book and wanted it to be an International bestseller, I'd probably write something in the lines of "Dummies guide to winning a women over". Wondering if I am qualified enough ? Ofcourse you would have no doubt atleast about the dummy part. And if you have noticed, some of the self-help books like these have been written by people who have totally failed at it and it makes a great seller because they know what exactly it takes to fail..

Imagine I give you a book that has chapters like "Remember the dates", "Watch what you see", "Never gasp over a bill", dont you think it will be killer ? Quoting things like saif in hum tum, "Ikkis may ko tumne mujhe chua tha" ?? Surprising enough ikkis may happens to be my birthday (if you must remember) !!!

On a completely different note, I have been enlightened. But Hardik, I dont want to talk about it !!

And yeah, life is not fair ! men are laughed at for going to chick flick while women can still watch action movie in theater without ducking down their heads in the last row. Not that I am crazy about chick flicks but I accidentally bought a ticket for "Failure to Lauch" assuming it was an action movie (my bad) and I ended up with a friend of mine to the hall crowded with high school girls. Last row and ducking down doesnt really help..espply for a movie with Sarah Jessica Parker in it..men can never wear skirts while women are happy with their Jeans and T-shirts..Not that I want to wear a skirt...but honestly who is oppressed here ?

A little over three years back, over a chat conversation with a fellow kangaroo Rupali about THE future, we came with a brilliant business idea that would be a breakthrough in mankind relationships. YES ! we decided to get into the matrimonial matchmaking service industry. It was just like any other matrimonial service like shaadi.com with the only difference that instead of the Bride and Groom's horoscopes, we'd use their DNAs to make a genome compatibility study. Just to see if the Kundalis match, we'd see if the genomes match only that it will be more predictable ! Imagine what that could do to the brown society :). Unfortunately our ideas got stolen and some companies came with the same idea and tried to cash-in on them. But still it hasnt met the expectations of our community and so I am going ahead with the business plan. Oh..and we are looking for VCs who can fund us. You know what Hardik, it would do us just great if you can provide us a seed fund with some of your tax evaded income and in return I promise to match your genome with 10 others (in the order you prefer) and as a sepcial bonus offer, will tell if your baby will have the same eye colour as yours. Sounds like a deal ?

And I recommend all the readers to check out what Aasif Mandvi has to say about the overachievers ..

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	M - Th 11p / 10c
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Tax Season

As much as I'd like to say that Spring is in the air, it's the numbers which are in the air. It's that time of the year again.. when I know how much I ended up giving to the government; when I know how less I earned compared to how much I wanted to; when I know how far I need to go; when I know, when I know.. o silly realizations!

To quote a friend,

Every year, there is always someone who makes more money. And every year, there is always someone who has to pay less taxes. But that's always someone else..

:)

Kitni Der Tak..

Song in the background:

kitni der tak tum, mujhe na kahogi
apane sheher aane ko
kitne der tum baatien karogi
filmo ki aur falsafon ki
kitni der aarjoo aad mein chhupegi
coffee ki aur kehkaho ki
kitni der tak uss dil mein rahega
mere naam par ek sawaal

and a smile spreads across.. :)

Conversations that make your day..

So I usually try to keep personal conversations off the blogs, but had to post this.. :)

Mann: u know what
me: what?
Mann: sorry for the pressure but i am missing ur blogs!
me: hahaha..
Mann: as good as missing u perhaps :)
but i did not like the feeling that there was no new update
for so long now
me: yea.. am too slow a thinker

Well it's definitely true that 'am a slow thinker. But I also didn't know that someone actually reads my blog, much less wait for any update.

I'll definitely try to keep up! :)

NEVER Say Never..

A friend once said: NEVER say never.. to ANYTHING.. to ANYONE..

and I'd like to believe so.. and I'd like to believe that people never say never again to anything or to anyone.. Things might change, perceptions might change, the world itself might change; and the causalities might make you change your thoughts towards something.

and yet, we do!
Isn't it imperative that we ask ourselves - before every such never - with a calm mind and heart - in a rational sense.. why NOT?

As Mr. Hitch likes to put it

"Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away."

:)

wasted heart..

With any luck, by next year - I'll be going out with one of these girls - But for now, let me say - To me, you are perfect - And my wasted heart will love you..

Masala Dosa

talking about external forces.. I have lost interest in learning to cook new dishes. I am dragging along in been there, done that survival mode until.. ahem, ahem; let's just say some point of time. :)

But the other day, my brother talked me into attempting to make Masala Dosa. Like all good challenges, I took this one up too (darn, what was I thinking?). So after 3 hours of strenuous efforts here is the result.

Now you might say this doesn't look that yummy.. But put on the rosy and colored glasses of bachelorhood, and I know many of you, married guys, are dying to do just that :).

So did you put on the glasses? just checkin'..

You might see it as this now

talk about finding happiness in small things.. :)

Newton's first law and the human brain

Doesn't Newton's first law of motion apply to human brain as well?

"The brain persists its state of rest or of uniform motion unless acted upon by an external unbalanced force."

Without any external force, we'll continue with the drudgery; no neurons will fire; no adrenaline rush; no progress made; no goals achieved!

and what would be those external forces? umm.. resolutions, pledges, motivations, love and 100,000 other things that might fire people up.

Isn't it? :)

Basic Principles

Just remembered a few basic principles listed in Hitch :)

Basic Principles - no woman wakes up saying "God, I hope I don't get swept off my feet today!" Now, she might say "This is a really bad time for me," or something like "I just need some space," or my personal favorite "I'm really into my career right now." You believe that? Neither does she. You know why? 'Cause she's lying to you, that's why. You understand me? Lying! It's not a bad time for her. She doesn't need any space. And she may be into her career, but what she's really saying is "Uh, get away from me now," or possibly "Try harder, stupid," but which one is it? 60% of all human communication is nonverbal, body language; 30% is your tone, so that means 90% of what you're saying ain't coming out of your mouth. Of course she's going to lie to you! She's a nice person! She doesn't want to hurt your feelings! What else she going to say? She doesn't even know you... yet. Luckily, the fact is that just like the rest of us, even a beautiful woman doesn't know what she wants until she sees it..

Basic Principles - no matter what, no matter when, no matter who... any man has a chance to sweep any woman off her feet; he just needs the right broom.

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date;
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st:
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

-- William Shakespeare

Budweiser

Heard a friend describe Budweiser as like having sex in a canoe.. (It's) so close to water!

totally cracked me up.. :)

Indore

I don't know who compiled this list, but I had to post this one.. :)

Jai Indore – Jai Chappan – Jai Rajawda!

You are from Indore, MP, India if

1. You have ever eaten a meal of Rotis and sev only
2. Poha Jalebi in the morning is your idea of ideal breakfast
3. You know the location of the Vijay Balla...(Indore has a huge cricket bat called "Vijay Balla" made out of concrete with names of the players of the Indian team who won the 1971 series against Gary Sobers' West Indies team.)
4. You have planned an entire evening for visiting and eating Sarafa food...
5. You know what mini-mumbai means
6. You have driven behind a mini bus..while the bus conductor screamed "manglia...maanglia"
7. you understand expressions like "aa riya hai..jaa riya ya bas chilla riya hai"
8. You address politicians as "bhiyaa log"
9. You know who captain mushtak ali is...
10. You have attended atleast one function where cricketer narendra hirwani was the chief guest
11. You have gone to atleast 1 cultural show at the Nehru Stadium
12. You have cheered for India live in atleast one of the cricket games
13. You have gone to Treasure Island and complained about the prices...
14. You have checked the time on Gandhi Hall ki watch
15. You have participated in/witnessed Raphaels v/s paulians discussion
16. You have tried to haggle for something at Rajwada
17. You have drank Nagori ki shikanji and eaten chaat at chappan dukaan
18. You have taken a road trip to mandu...
19. You have prayed at Khajrana right before the main results are out
20. you know what Garadu is
21. You saw the movie Narsimha and Pyar kiya toh darna kya mainly to see the Daly College in background
22. Driven on Khandwa Road for no reason at all
23. I have a grey paint and a white bushirt... <= do you understand this ?
24. Either u have participated or stood gaping at garba gals in YC(Yashwant club) or BBC
25. Eaten ice-creams at Ding-Dong , Chappan on cold winter nights..
26.Filled petrol at Fill n Fly petrol pump..
27.Taken a joy ride in river-boat at Piplya Pala
28.Atleast life me ekbaar St Raphael's vs St Pauls ka panga dekha hoga ya Holker College vs GACC ka ya Christian vs Gujrati Arts ka...inki dushmani jag-jaahir hai...birla cement ka jod hai!!
29. barishon mein shivaji corner per bhuttey khaye ho...
30. Airport rd pe long drive ki ho
31. Anant chaudas per jhaankiyaan dekhi ho..
32. Holi ki ger me rang-malang huey ho
33. visited dewas tekri during navratre...
34. you have had rasgulla's at rasgulla corner..
35. You drove till rau for the kachori's or gone to eat pasari wale ki kachori..
36. You were a student of Abhyankar/Khare coaching classes at some point in your life!
37. Know that the gates of Lalbagh Palace, Indore, are a replica of the gates of Buckingham Palace in London. They were cast in England and then shipped to Indore...Also know that Vijendra Ghadge the film actor who played Paro's husband in devdas, is married to the last remaining princess of Indore, thus making him our Son-in-law...
38. Fed a coin to the statue that swallows the coin placed on its hand at Kanch Mandir near Sarafa

You're going down..

Everyday when I take the elevator while returning from work, a sweet but automated voice declares "You're going down..". I find those words so annoying that I invariably speak out loud

"Noooo, I'm not!"

Sometimes I hear a voice follow it up with "at least not without giving a hard fight..". I look around, and it's just me in the elevator.

People who know me will certainly agree.. :)